How's Lent going? Or the New Year Resolutions, come to that ....

.... because I've failed. Abysmally. You too?

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Lent is already over 2 weeks old.

2024 is already 9 weeks old.

And how are the resolutions and fastings going so far?

Apparently just under half the populations of the UK & USA make new year resolutions and of those, 20% have given up by the end of January and another third by the end of February. 57% have never ever made a new year resolution. (Forbes.com)

I envy that latter group. If you never set yourself a goal, you never fail. On the other hand, aim for nothing and you’re bound to hit it.

And as for fasting … don’t you find it really really hard? I do. Traditionally, Christians fasting for Lent would have one meal a day or two small snacks (called collations) that together added up to no more than a meal. They’d relinquish oil, eggs and milk (so needed pancake day the day before Lent began, to finish up any dairy items) as well as meat, cheese, and any other animal-related products. So basically they ate bread, vegetables and perhaps a little salt. Once a day. With water or watered-down beer.

That’s really really tough. It’s not just for a day; it’s for SIX WHOLE WEEKS. Longer if you’re Eastern Orthodox - up to eight weeks, depending on the date of Easter (complicated story as to why the Easter dates of western and eastern vary. Google it.)

Fasting is depriving yourself = self-discipline. Giving yourself time to reflect on your sins and repent. Spending time in prayer and Bible reading and other Christian books/texts. And, traditionally, more almsgiving. (giving to the poor)

And as I read more about both Resolutions and Fastings and the habits and methods involved, I discovered something. Those who do it with others in community are far more likely to stick with it.

The Orthodox Christians have more services during Lent, spending time together encouraging one another in the Lenten practice and taking time to keep to their discipline - together. They fast together, and then they celebrate together on Easter morning after the Easter vigil. What a celebration after all those days of discipline - Easter is extraodinarily special after all that.

In the western tradition, we like to go - it - alone, be independent, do it by ourselves. Maybe not even telling anyone.

This year, someone I know very well decided, along with her two teenage daughters, to be very specific in Lent: they have given up chocolate and taken up eating more healthily. And because they are doing it together, they are encouraging one another and holding each other accountable. It’s working.

I, on the other hand, decided to give up sugary things (biscuits mostly; I can eat a whole packet in one sitting especially ginger snaps, fig rolls and plain old fashioned digestives or malted milk. All of which will be totally incomprehensible to my American friends for whom biscuits are savoury and go with gravy. For you, dear friends - I’m talking cookies here. And not the internet ones) And alcohol, also sugary.

I lasted a week. Well, just over. But only just. And then it was wet and cold yet again. the house was freezing - the builders seem to like both front and back doors open at all times and in all weathers, no matter how often I close the front door. They are also knocking out the whole of the end wall and roof of the little kitchen extension so it’s open to the elements at the moment. Plus there’s no longer a working kitchen as you’d know it, in there. We have a microwave and a toaster and a kettle in the sitting room. What more could you need? We’re blessed to even have those. But it’s not always easy. And when the third set of builders (my husband believes in having several on the go all at once as some are bound not to turn up for a day or two, as they do) installed my washing machine and tumble dryer just before they left promising to return a week later, they’ve somehow managed to leave both unusable. Plus there is dust. The builders in the attic took the roof off to put in a Velux; the old bathroom was hacked out and a new one installed; the kitchen is being demolished …. yes it’s all self inflicted as we’ve chosen to remodel an old home. But did I tell you about THE DUST? It’s everywhere, on everything, and impossible to escape. Even in our bedroom with the door closed. My clothes on the hangers all have dust lines along them. My chest congests. The cough hacks. Did I mention the dust and the dirt?

And the dust and the mess and the cold and the wet and the chest and the cough were a defeating combination. Reader, I gave in. I gave in to some rather bad days. I had to shop and remembered a granddaughter might be calling in on her way home from school and would need snacks. That was my excuse. I bought three packets. Including ginger snaps. And malted milk. She wasn’t able to come. But the biscuits were there in my make-shift kitchen in the one inhabitable room on the ground floor.

They were. Not any longer.

Why did I fail? I’ve several excuses, not least the lurking depression which is increased by my current surroundings. And the rain and the cold meant I didn’t walk as much as I usually do - squelching through thickly muddied fields is not my idea of a good walk. And lack of exercise meant I didn’t sleep so well. So I’m tired, weary of the dust, and biscuits/cookies are easy to eat. But make me more tired and lethargic.

Those are poor excuses. My main reason is that I hadn’t told anyone and wasn’t doing it in community with any one else. No-one to cheer me on, no-one for me to cheer on; no-one for joint accountability.

Plus it was a very vague ‘give up sugary things.’ No plan, no goal, no substituting others things. (for instance, every time I feel low/want a biscuit etc I will read a verse or memorise it, or say a favourite prayer from a prayer book, or whatever. Or have a glass of water: it’s good for you). A goal of denying myself just as Jesus did when He fasted in the desert for 40 days. He managed it, refusing even freshly baked bread. I haven’t.

And yet. And yet. Aren’t we under grace not law? Isn’t there forgiveness, grace and mercy? Isn’t it possible to be picked up by a Loving Saviour, dusted down (oh I WISH!) set on the path again, and continue on? So I’m beginning afresh, confessing my weakness, determining not to go near the biscuit shelf in the store in the first place, depending on the mercy and grace of Jesus and the power of the Spirit to breathe new inspiration and lead me on. AND I’ve told YOU - will you hold me accountable? PLEASE?! And cheer me on. I’d be so grateful.

There’s still time to make a good Lent and be ready to celebrate on Easter Day. And it’s not all about biscuits. Or cookies.

And also - do feel free to pass on to others

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